One particular thing Christians often like to bring up is “Pascal’s wager”. They often tell me, “Just open your heart to Jesus, what do you have to lose?” Then they often say that “Jesus died for my sins and he offers me a free gift of salvation”. I mean who doesn’t enjoy free gifts? Here Jesus is, offering me a free gift and all I need to do is take it. So why don’t I?

Because as far as I’m concerned, this gift is anything but free.

For one thing, those same people who speak of the “free gift” of salvation also urge me to acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Savior and to submit to him, to repent and to follow him. Now, in principle regretting your wrong-doings and making ammends with the person you have done wrong to is a good thing and should be encouraged. What I am not going to do however, is apologize for my deeds to God or Jesus.

Neither am I pleased by the thought of acknowledging Jesus as my Lord. Like he is the King and I am the servant or at the very least, not on equal footing with him. I’m sorry but in a working relationship, both parties need to be equal. With Jesus however this evidently doesn’t seem possible. I’d have no problem with a mutual friendship with Jesus. I do have a problem with submitting to him, I do have a problem with being his sheep. The Bible describes us humans as sheep and flock often enough and I’m sure most Christians aren’t as devout and as submissive as fundamentalists ask me to be, or as submissive as Abraham himself was, but such an attitude to me is unacceptable. And believe it or not but I have encountered Christians who told me, that they would kill their children if God asked them to and we have in fact seen cases where they did.

Another problem, that I see with the gift of salvation is, that  Christians asks me to put all my personal responsibility on Jesus, who served as the sacrificial lamb. If I “sin” then I sin and if I do wrong actions, if I hurt people then it is my responsibility to make it right. I have no need and more importantly I do not want anybody to take that responsibility away. I do not want Jesus to pay the debt for my actions. I am a grown man and I take responsibility for myself.

More importantly though, this gift implies, that Jesus was brutally tortured and killed for me. I do have to take a part in this. I do have to say, that I approve of this human sacrifice. I’d have to say, that I approve of the method, by which God wants to forgive our sins (bloodshed). If I believed, that Christianity is an accurate description of reality (and I absolutely do not), then I simply couldn’t say that and I couldn’t do that. I don’t approve of this method and I want no part in it. Accepting this gift would imply, that I think it’s moral that Jesus has been victimized and tortured for me and it implies that I myself took part in this sacrifice.

I’m sorry but this gift isn’t free. It has a very high price to pay and I’m not willing to pay it, provided that Christianity turns out to be true.

Goodbye from yours truly,

Rene von Boenninghausen @Renevelation

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